Why? Where do I begin…

I recently heard a quote that has been playing over and over in my head.  “The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you discover why.”  I’m not even sure who originally said it because I’ve heard it so many times lately!  Another one replaying in my head – “if you want something different, DO something different”.  So guess what…

My life has not been a bed of roses lately (or ever) and it is past time for me to take a look in the mirror at what circumstances, both allowed and forced upon me, in my life are and have been robbing me of my full potential and ultimate bliss.   While walking my dog, Ollie, today – I was listening to a podcast by two of my favorite mentors and even though I have heard it before it hit me like a ton of bricks about 15 minutes into the hour long session.  So much so, that I came home from the walk, packed up my computer and notebook and headed off to a quiet place outside the home to work.  I often find too many distractions to accomplish what I really need to do at home.  I knew it was time for me to start telling my story…from the beginning.  (People that have heard excerpts from my life say it’s a Lifetime Movie!!)  I sat down with my berry drink and began researching different blogging sites and asking a lot of questions online.  Here I am 3-4 hours later, armed with knowledge, which equals power, and am ready to share!  I have blogged before, but not for a positive, effective outcome.  Today is for good.  Today is the beginning of a story that I hope you will all want to hear!  I hope every single person reading my words can relate in some way or gain some useful pieces of information from what I am going to put onto “paper”.

Most of you know me as a very private person, and know I do not share a lot of information about my life, so this will be stepping outside of my comfort zone into the place where they say “the magic happens”.  I am trusting that with God leading my hands to type these words, that will be the exact result, magic.  For you and for me.  This blog will not always be sunshine and roses, because that’s not how life truly is, and it certainly isn’t how my life has been.  BUT, what it will be is real; and honest; and open.  I will show hope and promise!  I intend to not only share with you where I am at today, but where I came from and where I am going.  And that my friends, is to the TOP!  It won’t always be easy to read, so imagine how I will feel typing it.  One thing I have learned lately is not to judge someone else and what their behavior is, as it likely not a true representation of who they are, but what they are going through; so be kind.  So I ask that as you read my most private, and sometimes mortifying times of my life, you do so with an open mind and heart and not criticize; nobody is perfect.

I am scared and excited to share with you!!  I have struggled for years to really understand who I am and why I am on this earth.  Why don’t I know my why?  Is something wrong with me?  Am I just not loveable?  Don’t I deserve happiness too? I will explore that with you, and hope to help you understand why you, too, are here and why I KNOW that we all deserve ALL of these things!  I hope you will follow me through this journey and learn with me as I begin to share my story with you of being a foster child, adoption, abuse, meeting my biological parents, marriage(s), motherhood, corporate America, and then starting over at age 40 to present day at 45 years young and ready to be in the top 2%!

Please let me know your feedback!  If any of these things resonate with you, let me know that!  I want to provide value as well as therapeutic words.  This is not about me.  This is about who I can help.  Who else may feel some of these same feelings of inadequacy and abandonment that I grew up with?  Who could benefit from knowing – you’re not the only one?  Love to you all…more to come!

2 thoughts on “Why? Where do I begin…

  1. I can’t wait to hear more about you. My life has also been difficult, and I have made some bad choices. Maybe from reading about you I will be able to get answers for myself.

    I had no idea you had a troubled past, and I have only heard good things about you. You seem to have it all together.


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