“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” -Flora Whittemore
Choices…we are faced with so many day in and day out, it sometimes feel like trial and error. How are you supposed to always know what’s right and what’s wrong? Well, inherently, we usually do. When you aware what the right choice to make is, yet you make the wrong choice, that is one of the hardest to come back from. Today I find myself in this situation.
Are you aware of the impact your choices are making on your life and in the lives of those around you every day? Are they truly representative of who you are? Many of the choices we make day in and day out often get the least amount of thought, but are some of the most important things we do! We just go through the motions every day and don’t think how our actions are affecting those around us which is a huge reflection on us. And often not a true reflection! We can make or break somebody’s day with one sentence. We can let our anger, frustrations or our own hurt control our actions and hurt somebody else in the worst way. Is that something you’d want to be known for? We are human, theses things will happen from time to time. But this should not be something you take lightly and brush off. I’m not. I have accepted what I said because I cannot change it, I have apologized for the hurt and confusion it caused simply because I was angry and feeling insecure about something. Not a good lesson friends. Not a proud moment. But I am going to talk with you about how I will overcome this and not stay in this negative moment!
I told you this blog would not always be easy to read, so to imagine how I feel today, writing it. I also asked that you not judge me. All of those requests apply today. I am human and I am sorry. I have been physically fighting a stress migraine all day today from muscle spasms due to the tension. I am so displeased and disappointed in myself it has physically made me ill! Try those words on for size! They don’t fit very well. I have always had a bit of an issue with containing what I say, and being very outspoken, but I never mean to hurt anyone. I will say that with maturity and learning God’s love and grace, these instances have become very few and far between.
The point of today’s blog: Overcoming poor decision making.
- First, take full responsibility for your choices and actions. Do not pretend it didn’t happen and it will all blow over because it won’t. It will always be inside of you until you understand and forgive yourself.
- Second, understand why you made the decision you made. Do not make excuses, but understand WHY you made the choice you made. Somebody may have hurt you, multiple times, or done things to push your buttons, make you look like a fool, etc; but that does not give YOU the right to belittle them or make them feel poorly in any way. Understanding why you did what you did can help you make the right decision if ever faced with the situation again.
- Third, apologize and explain to the person(s) you’ve hurt or that were affected by your decision. Again, this is not to make excuses, but to hopefully explain what you realized in #2 and help you all understand it won’t happen again and move forward.
- Fourth, focus on the now. The poor decision and the repercussions have already happened. Be present in your life, look at the positive you are doing because dwelling on the past will not do anybody any good.
- Fifth and finally, be proactive in your understanding and take action to be sure you do not repeat this behavior. Review the words in your head before they come out of your mouth! Read and re-read a message before you send it. How would receiving the words you’re about to deliver make you feel? If it is anything other than good or positive, you should probably re-think that you are saying.
Have the brains to know what is right and what is wrong. Have the confidence to know when something is about you and when it’s not. Have the humility to say when you are wrong, apologize and attempt to make amends, even if it is not well or at all received. That is part of your action – you have to live with the consequences. Don’t make the same mistake I did where you put your own ego first. Always look at people with love and respect, in ANY situation and you will never be in THIS situation.
Tomorrow is a new day and I will focus on these 5 steps. (1-3 have already been done.) Tomorrow I will be positive and live in the present and work on being proactive for prevention. I will be aware of, but not dwell on, the past and I will overcome this situation with grace and a valuable lesson learned. Thank you for coming back again, have a blessed and happy Friday night.